Think of it as a boozy (or less so) choose-your-own-adventure. Entire shops are dedicated to non-alcoholic (N/A) bottles, while tequila and mezcal continue to drive sales at bars. A new hotel chain, Tempo by Hilton, has collaborated with Lyre’s, an Australian zero-proof spirits company, on a non-alcoholic menu that matches its full-proof one, drink for drink. There’s no shame in leaving early if you feel uncomfortable in a situation involving alcohol or peer pressure. You don’t even have to say goodbye, Kuda said, as long as make sure to send a text to let your friends know you’re okay. Before RSVPing to any event with alcohol, decide if you think you can handle being present around the substance, especially if you’re newly sober.
People in recovery can experience a lot of shame simply for having become addicted in the first place. Most people who make their way into recovery have being sober around drinkers left a lot of pain and suffering in their wake. Feeling guilty or ashamed of past behavior or actions during active addiction is natural and healthy.
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I, too, can order off the Skinnylicious menu at The Cheesecake Factory and feel good about it at the time. But I also know that at some point, I’m probably going to cave and get the nachos, for which I will hate myself immediately (once I’ve recovered from my food coma). Politely decline invitations to activities you are not 100% confident you can handle sober. Tell them you’re being serious and need to stop if they want to be in your life. Let’s say the aforementioned heart-to-heart with your buddies didn’t go as planned.
You might search for groups based on sobriety, interests, or location on Facebook and engage with their discussion posts and events. A quick search for hashtags that mention sobriety can help you get started on Instagram. And if you aren’t comfortable publicly owning your recovery, you can create an anonymous, secondary profile to engage with the community. Seek support and connect with like-minded individuals who share your interest in alcohol-free socializing. Look for local groups or online communities that promote sober social activities or host alcohol-free events. Surrounding yourself with a supportive community can provide encouragement, inspiration, and a sense of belonging.
What Does Staying Sober Mean?
Several cities worldwide are picking up on people’s need to engage in alcohol-free activities and find a community with like-minded individuals. If you have any personal experience or know of someone else who has gotten better, then feel free to share successes at that point. Avoid being judgmental or pushy, but let them know you support anything that helps them feel better. If you’re struggling to stick with your drinking limits during the holidays, or you have a relative who is ready to get help for a drinking problem, there are now online options. Ria Health offers coaching, support groups, medications, and more—all through a convenient smartphone app. Reach out now, for a happier holiday, and a healthier year.
Even if you’ve had a previously successful outing with your bestie ordering only ginger ale with lime, you’re playing with fire every time you go. Reinforce what you’re doing is important, and you need them to be more supportive. Organizations like Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous are other ways to build a support network.
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When I tried to order lunch at a stand near the famed Viktualienmarkt, I couldn’t understand what the employee was saying. Kuda said the most tempting event during her first 90 days without alcohol was an all-inclusive vacation wedding in Mexico. “You will probably find something really cool that you would have never even thought of doing on a Friday or Saturday night, where you can meet new, like-minded people,” she said. A sober January offers a valuable opportunity for exploration, especially when approached with an experimental mindset. That’s why in my online course, Sober Curiosity Lab, I show participants how to treat Sober January as an experiment, not a challenge.
Contact Gateway Foundation today to learn more about the programs and services that best meet your needs. When I quit drinking, there was no fanfare; no days-long hangover or humiliating mistake that made me give it up. I simply didn’t enjoy it anymore, and even a single drink worsened my sleep and anxiety. A Dry January Challenge fixates on the end result—staying dry. A Sober Experiment approach encourages curiosity about the journey, helping you explore and discover what a healthier relationship with alcohol means for you personally. I encourage you to use this January as an opportunity to test out your beliefs about alcohol or what life could be like with less drinking.